Patricia King Will Help Find You a Spouse! (for only $79.00)

Patricia King has a new teaching program for sale at XPMedia: Finding Your Mate.

(ScreenShot from Patricia King's Website)

(ScreenShot from Patricia King's Website)

Thought for the day: If you wanna send $79.00 to Patricia King so she can help you follow the mystical trail of breadcrumbs that will lead to your eventual marriage... well, we don't have a lot of hope for the success of your resulting marital relationship.

(This has been a Public Service Announcement from Pirate Christian Media)

The Swiss Army Knife Anointing - 5 Signs You May Have It

How do you know if you have The Swiss Army Knife anointing? Doug Addison says we'll all have The Swiss Army Knife anointing this season. (What season is he referring to? Halloween?)

Remember folks, God can't equip you, unless you believe He is equipping you. (But if you post a cheesy stock photo and make claims that don't exist in the Bible... well, you might be Doug Addison.)

What is The Swiss Army Knife anointing, you ask? How do you know if you have it? How do you know you have something that isn't even in the scripture? Below are five signs you may have it.

1. Lime green and yellow swag.

You may wake up one morning wearing lime green and yellow hipster swag. The lady above has a real neato-mosquito lime green (Or some bright shade of green...) knit hat. Your Swiss Army Knife anointing ensemble will come with a delightful yellow sweater and green hipster glasses.

2. Strong desire to be crammed into a drawer.

Maybe if you have a strong desire to be crammed into a drawer, never to be used, then you'll know you have this anointing? Because I have a Swiss Army Knife, and I never use it, it's actually crammed into a drawer.

3. Strong desire to be an unused corkscrew.

 

Possibly if part of your consciousness feels like a corkscrew that will never be used to open a bottle of wine, then maybe, just maybe then you'll know you have this anointing? Does anyone really use the corkscrew on a Swiss Army Knife to open a bottle of wine?

4. You fear being replaced by a discounted knockoff of yourself.

 

Swiss Army Knives are really pricy, and admit it, you've seen the discounted knockoff versions at your local drug store. I also own two of those, that I never use.

5. You think you're a three inch saw capable of doing major lumberjack work.

 

Like the corkscrew, is anyone really going to use the little saw to do major lumberjack work? Probably not.

And this absurd list is just as absurd as creating an anointing that isn't even listed in scripture.

Pastor Barrett's Debate Dysphoria Disorder

Does Pastor Glyn Barrett suffer from Debate Dysphoria Disorder?

Pastor Glyn Barrett of !Audacious Church may have a bad case of Debate Dysphoria Disorder. He's not content with a debate that never existed, so he's created his own debate reality in his head.

Pastor Glyn has a boastful brag about his showdown with an atheist at the Cambridge University corral. 

Amazing, sounds like he silenced those atheists, doesn't it? The thing is, the atheists were already silent. Why? Because they weren't there. This debate never happened. 

The Cambridge University Atheist and Agnostic Society claims to know nothing about the debate. (From audaciouslies.com.)

From another blog on Patheos.

Even worse, Pastor Glyn's story sounds similar to this from Mark Finley.

 

Things like Debate Dysphoria Disorder happen when you feel constant pressure to be grandiose and audacious. Most of the time life is very simple, and yes, even mundane. To avoid slipping into things like Debate Dysphoria Disorder don't stress yourself out when life is just so, well, normal.

 

“Prophet” Nicholas Adds a Layer between You and God

Prophet Prince Nicholas Eli Anthony of the Prophetic and Deliverance Page on Facebook told his followers that God honors the word of a prophet because a prophet speaks to God directly.

He’s giving the impression that only prophets have the direct line to God. He’s creating a layer between believers and God that traces all the way to the wrongs of the Roman Catholic Church. It’s a layer that serves to exalt and benefit himself at the expense of his followers.

4 who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.5 For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man[a]Christ Jesus, 6 who gave himself as a ransom for all, which is the testimony given at the proper time 1 Timothy 2:4-6 (ESV)

Martin Luther and the Reformers fought hard to remove this extra layer between man and God, and now the deceivers and forces of hell are trying hard to bring it back.

If you are in a place of desperation, hurt, or pain, please do not trust in deceivers like this claiming to have the direct line to God. You can approach the throne of grace yourself. You can lean on other brothers and sisters in Christ to pray with you and for you, but please, don’t think some prophet has an exclusive direct line to God that you do not have.

If Nicholas happens to be reading this, or if anyone similar to him is reading, please call upon the God to grant you repentance. The throne of grace is open to you also.

Pastoral Shouting Match with Ed Young and Steven Furtick!!!

  • HYPE-O-RAMA OF PASTORAL (& OVERLY DRAMATIC) SHOUTING! BECAUSE SHOUTING PROVES THAT SOMETHING IS TRUE!! Just like using ALL CAPS!!!!
  • OBLIGATORY FOOTAGE OF EMOTIONAL WORSHIPPERS WITH HANDS RAISED! (Wide aperture on lens for that shallow depth of field look; this says "spiritual, but not religious" like nothing else)
  • CHEERING A LOT... AND THEN CHEERING SOME MORE!! WHY IS THERE SO MUCH CHEERING?? JUST KEEP CHEERING!!!!
  • OBLIGATORY FOOTAGE OF ATHLETE GETTING READY TO WIN!! WOW-HE'S READY TO KICK SOME BUTT!!! JUST LIKE OUR CHURCH!!!!!
  • NO LOSERS ALLOWED; THIS IS WHERE SUPER-CHRISTIANS LEARN HOW TO WIN!!
  • OBLIGATORY FOOTAGE OF DRUMMERS DRUMMING AS PEOPLE DANCE AROUND IN SLOW MOTION!! (Wide aperture on the lens again; nice touch)
  • COOL YOUNG ROCKSTAR WORSHIP LEADERS!!
  • ONCE YOU BECOME A DIAMOND IN AMWAY YOU CAN QUIT YOUR DAY JOB!! (Oh wait, that's a different, but very similar, conference...) 
  • SOMETHING ABOUT GOD... SOMEWHERE... OH YEAH, GOD WANTS YOU TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAM DESTINY THINGY!!!! YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!! (Continue cheering until further notice...)

Watch this conference promo video and ask yourself: Does this look like an actual Christian conference, or a motivational conference full of shouting, exaggerating and people being told how great they are? Ask yourself: Is this video trying to accurately describe a conference, or is it emotionally manipulating me into wanting to get pumped up and join all the cool people shown here? 

 

Perhaps this is the motivational speaker that that Ed Young should hire for next year's conference...


A related article:

When Did the Church Turn Into Amway?

Fighting for the Faith episodes that show how Ed Young twists God's Word:

Fighting for the Faith Ed Young

Fighting for the Faith episodes that show how Steven Furtick twists God's Word:

Fighting for the Faith Steven Furtick

For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Ed Young or Steven Furtick (or any other church leader) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend this video, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Literal "Hell on Wheels"-Your Vehicle May Be a Demon, Says "Prophetess" Rosalind

Your motorcycle may be a literal Hell's Angel says "Prophetess" Rosalind Solomon. According to her your Lexus could be Legion, your Beamer could be Belial, and well, you get the idea.

You are more than free to watch her almost hour long explanation here. Like me, you probably don't want to do that, so just for you, I've chopped it down into two easily digestible parts. Well maybe, not that easily digestible.

In the first video you will hear a lot of nonsense. The gist? 

1. Your vehicle or motorcycle may be a demon made by Satan of a dead human. 
2. Satan can even put demons in jewelry, makeup, creams, hair dye, weave hair, turkey tails, and canned goods at the 99 cent store.

Have you lost your sense of lucid equilibrium yet? I had to listen about five times just to understand her flow of thought. As far as vehicles go, demons are limited to luxury cars, mostly. 

Let's go to exhibit two. Can you handle the "truth"?

The gist? There are humanoid demons that can block the heart from receiving the gospel, so you must take measures to remove it.

Prophetess Rosalind appears to have an audience. If you take time to listen to her entire video, she mentions people who send her money for books, and she even holds conferences that people attend. You can visit her website and Youtube channel.

Why point out the over the top vain imaginations of an obscure false prophetess? Because she's an example of the ongoing need to warn people. People are sadly so easily deceived. She doesn't have the gravitas or funding of the popular false prophets, yet she has followers.

If she can so easily deceive when she lacks gravitas, imagine what someone with major money and talent behind their false ministry can do.

There is no difference between her vain imaginations and the vain imaginations coming from the popular mega-false ministries. Both are founded in the unreality of their own imaginations, and not in scripture.


For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Rosalind Solomon (or any other so-called prophet) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend Rosalind, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Papa Don't Push! -Apostle Axel's Ape-tastic Push Anointing

The real Holy Spirit would NEVER cause someone to steal bad movie posters and pretend they were a word from God, but "Apostle" Axel Sippach is aping Hollywood by delivering The Push Anointing to the body of Christ. Do not keep this unbiblical delivery. Our Father in heaven has not placed a Push Anointing anywhere in his word.

You may not find this "anointing" in God's word, but you will find in Hollywood, which makes Apostle Axel's vain imagination creation 100% ape-tastic!

PUSHMOVIE.jpg

He's aping the 2009 movie Push. This is what happens when you mix the vain imaginations of a false apostle with seeker sensitive attempts to be relevant. You end up with 0% bible, and 100% vain imagination.

Notice how he turns the power of the Holy Spirit into an impersonal force we can tap into.

There is a ‪#‎power‬ at work within us that most of us have not even tapped into 10% of yet.

Last I knew the Holy Spirit was more than an impersonal power we could tap into like a tree for maple syrup.

Don't let this false apostle turn the Holy Spirit into an impersonal force you can tap into. His teaching is founded in his vain imaginations and not in scripture. Simply put, our Father in heaven has not created a Push Anointing. Do not keep this unbiblical delivery, it's not from our Father.

"Prophetic Oopsies"-Real Prophets Can Say Sorry, Says "Prophetess" Vonda Brewer

“Prophetess” Vonda Brewer (The Nagging Prophetess) says real prophets can just say sorry and eat crow if they have a "prophetic oopsie." 

Here is a bit about her if you’re unfamiliar with Vonda: “Prophetess” Vonda Brewer is on record saying that God told her that Jeb Bush would win the Republican nomination for president in 2016. She claimed Trump would be trashed by the Republicans, and replaced with Jeb. As most of us know, Trump won the nomination, survived the convention, and he is now the official Republican nominee for president in 2016.

Vonda has decided to double down on her bet by saying the Republicans will dump Trump on September 10th, 2016 and put Jeb and George P. Bush on the ballot. Pay attention to two things in the video below. Around 1:57 while giving the date, she starts scratching her neck. Some body language experts assert that can be an indicator someone is lying.

Around 2:30 she says that if she has to come back and eat crow and say sorry she’ll do it.

The thing is, scripture doesn’t leave any room for real prophets to have prophetic oopsies. There is no room to simply say sorry, eat crow, and continue on being a real prophet.

But the prophet who presumes to speak a word in my name that I have not commanded him to speak, or[f] who speaks in the name of other gods, that same prophet shall die.’ And if you say in your heart, ‘How may we know the word that the Lord has not spoken?’— when a prophet speaks in the name of the Lord, if the word does not come to pass or come true, that is a word that the Lord has not spoken; the prophet has spoken it presumptuously. You need not be afraid of him.
— Duet. 18: 20-22

Vonda has reasons to be thankful. First, we’re not under the old covenant, so she can’t be put to death for her prophetic oopsies.

Also, she’s not living under a government controlled by hardcore Westminster Confession of Faith devotees. Under that scenario she could have a civil magistrate knocking on her door so she could be fitted for their favorite prophetic oopsie execution device.

There is still time for Vonda and people like her to call upon God to grant them repentance.


For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Vonda Brewer (or any other so-called prophet) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend Vonda Brewer, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

"Shock-Uh-Bobba"-Watch Heidi Baker Repeatedly Violate 1 Cor. 14:27-28!

Heidi Baker boldly claims to receive many direct revelations from God, but she repeatedly violates the revelation we've already been given on the proper use of tongues found in 1 Corinthians 14:27-28. Baker repeatedly says "shock-uh-bobba" (and a lot of other strange things) without proper interpretation of her "tongues" (or "unknown languages").

If any speak in a tongue, let there be only two or at most three, and each in turn, and let someone interpret. But if there is no one to interpret, let each of them keep silent in church and speak to himself and to God.
— 1 Corinthians 14: 27-28

According to scripture she should be keeping this "tongue" to herself, since it's just a meaningless phrase with no interpretation. So which should we believe, the written Word of God... or "shock-uh-bobba?" 

If this supposedly "mature" woman in the "prophetic realm" doesn't understand or follow the very simple and clear instructions concerning tongues in the Word of God, why should we trust what she's saying is actually from God? In watching this video, doesn't it seem like she just enjoys throwing the words "shock-uh-bobba" (or "shock-uh-bob") around? Are we really expected to believe this silly little un-interpreted phrase is coming directly from God-in violation of His own written Word??



For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Heidi Baker (or any other popular teacher) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend Heidi Baker, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Repeating Blues Disco Prophetess Jerri Flake

Have you ever wondered what a prophetic, blues, disco, gospel, spoken-word, repetitive, R&B video would look like? If you have, we have found your answer! Meet "Prophetess" Jerri Flake and her husband/vocalist extraordinaire, Anthony. A large bottle of Pepto-Bismol will be supplied to anyone who can stomach watching all three of these bizarre videos.     

What’s the point of pointing this out? This is an over-the-top example of absolute absurdity being done in the name of God. God doesn’t need cheesy theatrics with disco ball special effects to get the message out-especially if it's just a bunch of repeating phrases that lack any real content.

His real message is already out-in the Bible!

The Nagging Prophetess!

Do you want to receive blessings from God? Do you want protection from the coming calamity? Do you want the latest prophetic instructions from God? Not the latest prophetic instructions from a month or two ago, but right now?? Well then stop watching Vonda Brewer's YouTube videos for free, you cheap, uncommitted phony! You need to pay $300 to become a part of her private Facebook group!! (Chris Rosebrough, you've been giving away thousands of hours of valuable material for years now-get a clue from the Vonda The Nag!) 

We've done the world a favor by speeding up Vonda's video so that the painful 17 minutes is reduced to a slightly more bearable 7:21...

In the words of the Prophetess:

All Sales Are Final!

(By the way, The Nag has disabled the "thumbs up/thumbs down" feature on this YouTube video. Maybe because she was getting "thumbs down" about 5 to 1 after we originally posted this...)

B. Houston on the "naked cowboy" Event: "I'm Clueless About It-But It's No Big Deal Anyway"

(somehow this video has been removed from YouTube-even though it was posted by a hillsong fan who was simply sharing this event that they attended. We will put up a copy below)

"Simila" tattooed in large script across his chest

"Simila" tattooed in large script across his chest

this is a screenshot from a guest sermon that Simila gave at cape Christian church, Cape corral, Florida on April 10, 2016

this is a screenshot from a guest sermon that Simila gave at cape Christian church, Cape corral, Florida on April 10, 2016

In an amazing example of not taking responsibility, Mega-Pastor NARpostle Brian Houston finally made a very brief blog post about what happened at his church. The basic summary could be this: "I have no idea how my staff (under my Apostolic authority) did such an inappropriate thing, but it doesn't matter anyway. And don't be so judgmental." 

Here's what he said, in entirety (posted on the Hillsong blog June 1, 2016):


"So how did someone come on stage imitating Times Square’s famous Naked Cowboy, (during a fun moment involving lots of other people), at the Colour Conference in NYC? It’s a good question, I’ve been trying to work that out myself.

I do know that Bobbie – my wife – who was convener of the conference was clearly unaware that this was going to happen and was taken back by it.  She was at the dress rehearsal and there was no sign of a naked cowboy lookalike there. Carl and Laura Lentz were also not part of the decision. I can only guess at this point, that some one thought it would be funny and sent him out there without thinking about the ramifications.

What I do know is that those who perpetuate the story, do so mainly with the help of a video, no context,  and a good dose of what the bible describes as hearsay and rumour. He was wearing proper shorts, not underwear, and he had a flag draped over him.

What I also know is that talk of apostates etc., is nonsense. Some well-meaning person just made a silly decision. It is unlikely to happen again.

Brian"


Houston is (desperately) hoping that you don't know that his own Hillsong youth pastor was the guy who dressed up as the "naked cowboy" (actually, he didn't dress up-that's the whole problem). Brian Houston is the Head Apostle of the Hillsong Media Empire, and senior members of his staff were in charge of this event and were even on stage during the event... but none of them:

  1. Know how this happened
  2. Know who actually stripped down to their shorts (you know, the guy with his name tattooed across his chest: Diego Simila)
  3. Will take responsibility-including the Grand Master Apostle Himself, Brian Houston

Here's a screen shot from the Hillsong NYC website:

Hillsong NYC Team screen shot.png

Even though Brian and Bobbie Houston are the senior pastors of this "church," they have no idea how this whole thing happened. After Brian Houston passes the buck, he then goes on to describe the real problem:

EVERYONE ELSE.

When you look at the videos and see Hillsong pastors/staff members cavorting with their fellow pastor, Diego Simila, a.k.a. "The Naked Cowboy/Youth Pastor" you are not to make any judgements! Just let them all have their fun and say nothing... because you can't possibly know what's really going on by watching the videos of what's going on... made by people who were right there watching what was going on. Got it? Obey NARpostle Brian Houston and move along-nothing to see here.

And then for the zinger at the end he writes: "What I also know is that talk of apostates etc., is nonsense. Some well-meaning person just made a silly decision. It is unlikely to happen again." This is the tactic of a cunning politician who knows how to divert attention away from serious problems that should be addressed.

Dear Brian Houston, "this talk of apostates" is not nonsense. It's true that this "naked cowboy" thing is actually a relatively minor issue when compared to all the false teaching, worldliness and scandalous cover-ups that are ongoing at Hillsong. This little incident is like a stupid college stunt (that was engineered by adults who should've known better). So let's move on; here's a lot of information about your heretical, apostate, messed up church: The Brian Houston & Hillsong Cornucopia of False Doctrine, Abuse, Obfuscation, & Money Generation

As soon as this Hillsong blog post went online, I made the following comment (nobody had made any other comments yet):

About 20 minutes after I made that comment, the comments were closed: 

UPDATE! As of June 3rd, 2016, it appears that Diego Simila is being removed from the internet. It appears that someone is very busy covering up the fact that Diego Simila was portraying the "naked cowboy" character, and they want to pretend he's not actually a pastor at their church (for sure, Brian Houston has done this in his blog post). It's bad enough that Hillsong often causes their followers to blindly trust whatever false doctrine they'e being taught, but Hillsong goes so far as to manipulate the appearance of their organization on the internet! It's a not a real church-it's a giant corporate entity that uses marketing tricks, media manipulation and propaganda to create the illusion that "God is doing something great at Hillsong!"  

And Moses said to Aaron, “What did this people do to you that you have brought such a great sin upon them?” And Aaron said, “Let not the anger of my lord burn hot. You know the people, that they are set on evil. For they said to me, ‘Make us gods who shall go before us. As for this Moses, the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we do not know what has become of him.’ So I said to them, ‘Let any who have gold take it off.’ So they gave it to me, and I threw it into the fire, and (poof) out came this calf.
— Exodus 32:21-24 (No, Aaron didn't actually say "poof")

For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Brian Houston (or any other popular teacher) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction and want to defend Brian Houston, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Release Angel Armies!! (but first send $39.00)

NARpostle Tim Sheets tells outlandish stories that would make Mark Twain blush. Joseph Smith (the guy who founded the Mormons) could have taken lessons from this guy. Here's the carnival barker, TV host and lovable nut-job Sid Roth, attempting to make this all sound plausible enough for you to pull the trigger on spending $39 that would have been better spent on a lifetime supply of extra shoelaces:  

This whole episode is a textbook example of New Apostolic Reformation nonsense, taken to the looney bin and back again.

Here's what Tim Sheets and Sid Roth don't want you to read: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know!

Bill Johnson Lies to Christianity Today Magazine?

In the May 2016 issue of Christianity Today, Bill Johnson is asked, "So, what are your thoughts on the New Apostolic Reformation?" and he responds,

"I'm not completely clear on what it is." 

This is almost like Hillary Clinton saying "I'm not completely clear on what the Democrat Party is." Here's a very detailed article from Churchwatch Central about this breathtaking statement: 

Churchwatch Central

Here's another article from the blog Spirit of Error: Yes, Bethel and Bill Johnson are part of the New Apostolic Reformation

C. Peter Wagner invented the term New Apostolic Reformation and then claimed that he was in charge of it-which means that he decided who the "Super Apostles" would be. Bill Johnson is at the top of the list. But because the NAR is composed of various sub-groups, there isn't a master list; but Bill Johnson is part of Revival Alliance, which is 100% NAR. Most importantly, "NARpostle" Bill Johnson teaches all the things that the NAR teaches! The absolute low point of this movement was the Charismatic Day of Infamy (and they hope you don't know about it).

Bill Johnson doesn't want you to know about the false NAR teachings that are being exposed, so he's trying to pretend like there's no such thing as the NAR. Before the NAR there was the "Third Wave" and before that there was the "Latter Rain Movement." It seems that these groups eventually encounter difficulty trying to defend their un-biblical beliefs, so they use a new name to distance themselves from the controversy.

Here's C. Peter Wagner's 1988 book that was making statements and promises identical to the New Apostolic Reformation (only he was calling it the Third Wave back then):

We at Pirate Christian Media highly recommend the book: A New Apostolic Reformation? by R. Douglas Geivett & Holly Pivec for those who want to learn more about this gigantic, morphing movement that is eating up the church.

Here's a lot more information: The New Apostolic Reformation Cornucopia of False Doctrine, Dominionism, Charismania and Deception

Holy Spirit Uses Smart Phone to Help Shawn Bolz Do Cold Readings

 

The Holy Spirit must find it so much easier to transmit information now, thanks to hand held computing devices:

These people are teaching that Jesus Christ giving His life on the cross isn't enough; to really show His love people need to receive fortune telling-style "prophecy." 

 

More information about Shawn Bolz's senior pastor, Bill Johnson and Bethel Church: The Bill Johnson Cornucopia of False Teaching, Bible-Twisting and General Absurdity

Betrayed With a Kiss: Azusa Now's One World Religion

The False Miracles and Doctrine of Azusa Now-Fighting for the Faith

Shawn Bolz posted this photo with his good friend Todd Bentley on Facebook after this event:

Todd Bentley is the fraudulent revivalist who was at the center of The Charismatic Day of Infamy 

Shawn Bolz, Bill Johnson, Todd Bentley, Lou Engle and most of the people on stage at Azusa Now are hoping that you don't know about their history of false prophecies, scandal and non-Biblical teachings. 

Huge Gold Angel (Not) Seen at Azusa Now

This is NOT a satire piece (Why Mr. Jansen didn't take out his cell phone and snap a few photos is not explained in this article):

"Jeff Jansen Sees Huge Gold Angel at Azusa Now-Charisma News"

But most importantly, "something highly significant has shifted," says Jansen. You know, just like every other time they have a meeting, conference or "revival." 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here are some Facebook screen shots from a few years ago that display Jeff Jansen's narcissistic  theology:

Rick Joyner: "Jesus Chose Leaders Like Donald Trump"

Remember in the Bible where it says: "Jesus was a tough character?" Well, it's not actually in the Bible, but Rick Joyner says so. Jim Bakker and Rick Joyner are trying to make the point that Jesus picked "tough guy" sailors to be his disciples (like Donald Trump), and Jesus was tougher than all of them (like Donald Trump). Short clip from the Jim Bakker TV Show:

Chuck Pierce Speaking Directly for God-Add This To Your Bible

Here's an exact transcription of the "prophecy" from Glory of Zion (from the March 2, 2016 episode of Fighting for the Faith):

(Starts with nonsensical speaking, which will then be interpreted)...

Prophet Keith (interpreting the nonsensical speaking): "And the Lord would say to you today, awaken oh dry bones, oh bones that have laid and have laid in the dust today is the day that new breath and yes, my breath is coming over you, so awaken dry bones, awaken. Arise, arise and dance, because your purpose is before you, so when you awaken go forward, go forward, go forward, because a triumph... a triumphant cry is awaiting when you awaken."

Prophet Chuck (stepping in to show how it's done): "I saw a picture it was like what Keith just prophesied, all of a sudden I saw God start re-pulling you together and bringing you up to a top of a plateau, and then He said now you're gonna go down a long slide, and when you get back down to that hard place you were in, it's gonna manifest as a garden like you've never b-seen before. I saw watch this week as you hit your slide and where you thought you'd been scattered in past seasons, you'll find you'll be pickin' fruit in this season. And I will say to you this will be a month the trees begin to shake, and when the wind blows if you'll step out into the wind, you'll hear where you need to go, for I'm gonna be sending my people out this way and that way, and in the midst of the wind blowing new strategies to increase I will be blowing in. And every way you increased in the past, I say make a list of it and then, hear me blow you in to a multiplication to increase in the future. And I say what I've done in you if you will review then I will give you a vision of how I'm going to use you with others in days ahead. I say you are at the brink of multiply, do not back up, lists and review and then see where I would have you go. For this has been a season of repositioning and in my repositioning I have even left some where they are that they so they can increase in new ways, I say see your position now for now you will move out to the right and the left and increase will come. I healed you so that others could be healed, I broke through you so that you could breakthrough others, I say I caused you to be delivered, so many could be delivered, I say to you, this is your beginning of moving out. And I say use that which had you bound as a whip on the enemy. I say if you'll look back and see how the enemy had you bound you will break and cause the increase of many to come, I say I want healing in my body, but I want my body to prosper again. And I say to you a portal is forming over you, one that you have never seen before, I say run under and watch me pour down upon you for you are just beginning to receive and I say to you don't interpret your future from your past but allow your past to come under the portal of your future and I will pour over you that identity that you need to step into." 

New Prophet: "For the Lord says that I am redefining your sense so you will see how to move and operate in the portal that is coming down, and he says I am redefining your sense in the watch he says do not shut your eyes in the hour of watch he says be ready for me as I begin to move in the watch."

Back to Prophet Chuck: "The Lord says to you this is the beginning that I am going to reveal my glory and how my glory will move out I'm gonna show you how to advance, I'm gonna show you how to move, for Oklahoma I have chosen to unlock, and in unlocking Oklahoma I will unlock this entire nation, for my first people are dwelling in that place and DNA for the nation exists there, so from the east I will begin to manifest my spirit in a new way sayeth the Lord."  

 

Please add this to the Bible. Chuck Pierce assures us that he speaks directly on behalf of God. Do NOT question the Messenger.

This "Prophet" Will Read Tattoo So People Can Find Their Destiny

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Here's an article from the "Tattoo Prophet, Dream Interpreter, Life Coach" Doug Addison: Tattoo Prophet Doug Addison

Besides the ridiculous idea of reading people's tattoos like a cheap fortune teller, there's the underlying theology of this man: it's the same as most of the Signs and Wonders people he's associated with. There is no mention of sinners who need to be saved-only people who need to be loved; and the best way to love them is to tell them about themselves and their destiny. This is ear-tickling, plain and simple. He almost never even mentions the name "Jesus." It seems that his god is a wish granting genie, more than the sovereign Lord of the Universe (although I'm sure he claims to believe in the sovereign Lord of the Universe).

 Doug (who claims to be a "prophetic forerunner") says: "Helping people find their destiny and life purpose is one of the most helpful and powerful things we can do for them. Over the next 5-10 years destiny-based outreach will become more and more prevalent. It encompasses all aspects of what a person needs to move forward. This includes, but is not limited to healing, dream interpretation, prophecy, spirit-filled life coaching, and explaining the supernatural in practical ways."

Hey Doug, how about if you please tell them about Jesus Christ-the Savior who died on the cross to pay the penalty for people's sins so they could have eternal life? Oh, that's right, this is a new type of anti-religion outreach you're doing. On his Core Values page, Doug says: "Some have presented the message of Jesus negatively, so one of our assignments from God is to be change agents. In a world that desperately needs hope, we do everything in our power to extend love and encouragement." 

While it's (painfully) true that too many people have presented Jesus in a negative way, this teaching goes way to the other extreme. It's actually loving to tell people about their condition of sinfulness and how Christ died as the atonement-that's not being negative, it's a vital part of the process of pointing them to the Savior. Doug has seminars called "Detoxing from Toxic Christianity" where he teaches this newer, totally positive version of Christianity. He comes across like a really caring man who means well, but his teaching appears to be devoid of the Gospel of Jesus Christ (or it's buried very deep in Dream Destiny Dog Do).

For thus says the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel: Do not let your prophets and your diviners who are among you deceive you, and do not listen to the dreams that they dream, for it is a lie that they are prophesying in my name; I did not send them, declares the LORD.
— Jeremiah 29: 8-9

Here's a more extensive examination of Doug Addison's tattoo reading ministry from Let Us Reason Ministries: When Psychology Meets Psychic


For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Doug Addison (or any other popular teacher) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

Finally, here's an important article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.