“Do not be idolaters as some of them were; as it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play.” …Therefore, my beloved, flee from idolatry.”
This is NOT satire-this is a real FaceBook post from the Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry:
This seems to be a combination of the Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey, the Christalignment Tarot Cards and the Bethel Board…
In this video interview, it only took about two minutes for the late "prophet" Bob Jones to prove himself to be a delusional nutcase on the order of cult leader Joseph Smith. Amazingly, Bob Jones is at the very heart and center of the New Apostolic Reformation; his "prophetic words" are responsible for establishing many of the major ministries associated with the NAR.
God apparently needs your sweet lovin’. According to T.D. Jakes, God is a bit emotionally needy, and he may be holding back answers to prayer because you haven’t given him the amount of lovin’ he needs to hear.
On January 19, 2018 T.D. Jakes made a Facebook post promising breakthrough and answer to prayer if people simply opened their mouth and told God how much he means to them. He says God needs to hear how much he means to us.
“Good Morning
The breakthrough doesn’t come through the word, it comes through the worship! The greatest way to gain your breakthrough is through opening your mouth and telling God how much He means to you. Love has to express itself, and to the best way to show it is to worship Him in spirit and in truth ( John 4:24). Just like you would tell someone who is close to you, God needs to hear it as well. He is a passionate God. Whatever He feels, He feels passionately. He knows what you are enduring. He gave his body to His bride, all He asks in return is your worship. Worship brings relationship with God and as you draw closer to Him, He will reveal more of Himself to you.”
He is portraying an idolatrous image of God. God isn’t emotionally needy. He doesn’t need to hear how great he is, and God isn’t giving out goodies in exchange for some flattery.
The God of T.D. Jakes is part God and part emotionally needy lover. God doesn’t need anything. Portraying God as anything less than the self-sufficient God that he is, is to portray a false image of God.
“33 Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
34 “For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?”
35 “Or who has given a gift to him
that he might be repaid?”
36 For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen. ”
What you're about to see is a brief video from Christalignment's own YouTube page; (here's the original uncensored version... which was removed the same day as this article). Their description says this: "Every evening the team offer drumming/dancing free workshops which are so much fun and have plenty of good vibes. We believe this is an important expression of community and oneness in the whole tribe."
Just in case anyone thinks this is not from Christalignment, here's a screenshot of the video from Christalignment's own YouTube channel on January 5, 2018 (we've blurred the woman's breasts):
What the Bethel-approved ministry Christalignment fails to mention is that some of the women in this video are dancing topless to this tribal drumbeat; one of them puts her shirt on near the beginning while another happily dances topless the whole time, while the Christalignment team smiles and laughs as they pound the drums. Putting the best possible spin on this, someone could say that the topless woman just suddenly appeared and it isn't Christalignment's fault... but Christalignment made the deliberate decision to film this and then load it onto their YouTube channel.
We made a censored version for this Pirate Christian Media page:
Does Kris Vallotton approve of this? He (sort of) approves of the Christalignment "Christian Tarot Cards" (as long as they are called "Destiny Cards"). Bethel Pastor/Missionary Ben Fitzgerald is the son of Christalignment's leaders: Jen and Ken Hodge (you can see Ken with gray hair playing a drum). Theresa Dedmon, one of the many "pastors" at Bethel has written several blog posts now in support of Christalignment and "Destiny Cards." Does she also believe that topless tribal dancing "is an important expression of community and oneness in the whole tribe?"
Christalignment thinks it's a good idea to take and then post photos of the naked people who visit their booth for "Destiny Card" readings:
Christalignment claims to be "undercover" at these New Age/Pagan events so that they can reach people who normally reject Christianity. They want to show people God's love by giving them Destiny Readings, instead of explaining the ("old-fashioned" and "religious") Gospel message of Christ crucified for our sins.
“For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words, the Son of Man will be ashamed of him when He comes in His glory, and the glory of the Father and of the holy angels.”
“For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek.”
Here's a new video from Chris Rosebrough that explains the Christalignment/Destiny Card issue:
Here's Ben Fitzgerald "grave-sucking:"
More articles on this and other related topics:
Another Bethel pastor defends the occult practices of Jen Hodge and Christalignment.
Bethel pastor has a FITzgerald about his mother’s occultism being exposed.
Kris Vallotton: "Wealth is the Magnetic Attraction to Prosperity"
Kris Vallotton and Bethel Cannot Escape Link to New Age Occultism
Bethel Church Tells Witch that She's "On the Right Path" and "God is So Proud of Her!"
Kris Vallotton Inspired by Sylvester Stallone’s Survival by Doing a Porn Movie
Kris Vallotton: Prosperity Preacher Exchanging Love for Wealth
Here's a Drum Circle in the Bethel Prayer Room:
NOBODY conjures up the "spirit world" better than Rick Joyner's Morningstar Ministries! Warning: This is very disturbing:
(We apologize in advance, as we are unable to refund any minutes lost and/or time wasted while watching this video.)
“You Can Make It (but it’ll help if you have a basement stocked with food buckets).”
You enjoyed that, didn't you?! Here's more:
Lance Wallnau wants to go back to the "good old days..."
Lance Wallnau’s 7 Mountain Mandate Underground Facebook page recently shared a video from a Kenneth Hagin revival meeting showing a lot of odd things attributed to a work of the Holy Ghost. It opens with someone leap frogging over a pulpit as the camera pans to a "Jesus is Lord" sign up front. Don't you wonder: which "Jesus" is Lord of this place?
There is, of course, the usual “holy laughter,” slain in the spirit, and drunk in the spirit. Hagin spends most of his time in the video looking for someone to close the service. Each person ends up becoming so drunk in the spirit that they can’t close the service. This looks more like a bizarre and twisted comedy routine than a worship service.
“ But all things should be done decently and in order. ”
“Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ. ”
“Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. ”
This “revival” was not done decently and in order, and people claim to be drunk instead of sober. This supposed move of the Holy Spirit does not align with inspired scripture.
This is the type of revival people like Lance Wallnau and the New Apostolic Reformation want to bring to our churches. They're demonic apostles of disorder and drunkenness. Don't fall the the schemes of these dark super apostles. Stick with scripture, you can't go wrong.
You can sniff the body odor of Jesus if you have the gift of discerning of spirits says Jennifer Eivaz the Executive Pastor at Harvest Christian Center in Turlock, California. Apparently it can lead to a good laugh too. Jesus smells like laughing gas? She posted the below on Facebook.
Does this mean if I smell stale German beer and sausage some demon trying to mimic Martin Luther is after me?
This is pure nonsense and really doesn’t need further response.
Kris Vallotton the Senior Associate Leader at Bethel Church in Redding, California, and cofounder of Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry said he found inspiration from Sylvester Stallone doing a porn movie to survive financially.
On 11-11-2017 Kris Vallotton shared a video from the Millionaire’s Sayings page on his own Facebook page. The video describes Sylvester Stallone’s struggles to succeed. In the video we’re told Stallone was so poor he did a porn movie to earn money. Kris Vallotton said he found this inspiring.
“I believe there’s an inner power that makes winners or losers. And the winners are the ones who really listen to the truth of their hearts.”
“The heart is more deceitful than all else, and is desperately sick; Who can understand it?”
This is what happens when we esteem success over Christ: We end up finding inspiration in someone selling their body for sex. It shouldn’t surprise us that someone would esteem success over Jesus. Isaiah told us this would happen.
“He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief
and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.”
For more information on this false teacher, please read:
Kris Vallotton: Prosperity Preacher Exchanging Love for Wealth
We recently exposed the crazy false teachings of Kat Kerr about controlling the weather here and here. What is truly amazing, frustrating and revealing, are the comments from Kat Kerr's followers on her Facebook page. These people (mostly women) call themselves "Weather Warriors" because they believe they can control the weather. These are not people who want to deal with reality. They live in a tightly contained bubble of Word of Faith heresy and Dominionist fantasies.
They are under a delusion and they LIKE IT.
“For this reason God will send upon them a deluding influence so that they will believe what is false, in order that they all may be judged who did not believe the truth, but took pleasure in wickedness.”
These Weather Warriors truly believe they are able to control the weather, and nothing will hinder that belief, not even the obvious inability to control the weather. They are displaying something known as "Confirmation Bias." People can pour their own subjective, irrational ideas into a group and/or belief system and create a sense of meaning and purpose. As example of this, here's a video about young men who have created as sense of purpose and community around the cartoon "My Little Pony:"
Here's a video about a guy who just stares at people without saying a word, and people stand in line to buy tickets just to stare back at him:
So, even though Kat Kerr taught her followers that they could confidently send hurricane Irma into the Atlantic ocean where it would dissipate, the storm ignored all of their proclamations and continued on its path of death and destruction. This was...
BIG Failure # 1
But this didn't convince her gullible followers that something was wrong. Word of Faith teaching says that we must continue to make forceful declarations about whatever it is we want God to do, and He will have no choice but to obey our commands of faith. This is why they continue proclaiming "victory" and "glory" in spite of obvious failure. WOF teaching stresses the importance of people agreeing on something in order to make it happen. They believe we should thank God for the thing He hasn't done yet, because apparently that shows our tremendous faith and forces Him to do OUR will. What they don't realize is that this totally disregards God's sovereign will and makes God out to be a puppet of human manipulation. Here are just a few comments from delusional Word of Faith believers agreeing with Kat Kerr's failure to control a hurricane:
After about three days of utterly failing to control the hurricane, Kat Kerr claimed that she made a slight mistake: she claimed that hurricane Irma was continuing on its course to Florida because Florida was in a drought and needed water. This was a last ditch effort to explain her inability to control the hurricane. This was...
BIG failure #2
Here's the drought map for the week (notice that Florida is NOT having any drought at all):
At this point one would hope that her followers would catch on to this scam. Nope. Here's how they respond to her feeble story about sending the hurricane to Florida to help the (pretend) drought...
Notice the last comment: this lady basically says: "Thanks for your generous offer to send a hurricane in our direction, but we're not having a drought. But thanks so much for involving us in this grand delusion of being Weather Warriors!"
Here are some more confused and delusional comments:
At 7 pm on September 10th this is what the gigantic storm looked like as it pummeled Florida:
And, believe it or not, Kat Kerr was claiming a great victory!
Hurricane Irma swept through the entire state of Florida and continued on into Georgia. This was...
BIG Failure #3
After the hurricane ended and Florida was devastated (not to mention the even worse damage in the Carribbean), Kat Kerr told her Weather Warriors how great they were for doing... something:
Perhaps this comment says it all:
Ultimately, there are people who believe in the Word of Faith version of Christianity (which is not Christianity at all) because they like it, and people like Kat Kerr can make a good living off of them by maintaining and reinforcing their false beliefs.
“But when the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me.” - John 15: 26 (Notice how the Holy Spirit directs our attention to Jesus, not to controlling the weather and dominating the earth)
“Let no one keep defrauding you of your prize by delighting in self-abasement and the worship of the angels, taking his stand on visions he has seen, inflated without cause by his fleshly mind, and not holding fast to the head, from whom the entire body, being supplied and held together by the joints and ligaments, grows with a growth which is from God.” -Colossians 2: 18-19 (Kat Kerr is a master of the "humble brag" and claims to have regular visits to heaven where she gets new revelation directly from God)
“If anyone advocates a different doctrine and does not agree with sound words, those of our Lord Jesus Christ, and with the doctrine conforming to godliness, he is conceited and understands nothing; but he has a morbid interest in controversial questions and disputes about words, out of which arise envy, strife, abusive language, evil suspicions, and constant friction between men of depraved mind and deprived of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain.” - 1 Timothy 6: 3-5 (Kat Kerr advocates a different doctrine)
Kat Kerr does NOT want you to read this: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know!
Here's the latest "prophetic word" from Jennifer "Sneaky Squid" LeClaire; she's the Senior Editor at Charisma Magazine. Remember, Dr. Michael Brown approves of this unbiblical (and ridiculous) teaching:
“An appalling and horrible thing has happened in the land: the prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule at their direction; my people love to have it so, but what will you do when the end comes?”
— Jeremiah 5: 30-31
“And her prophets have smeared whitewash for them, seeing false visions and divining lies for them, saying, ‘Thus says the Lord God,’ when the Lord has not spoken.”
— Ezekiel 22: 28
“Your prophets have seen for you false and deceptive visions; they have not exposed your iniquity
to restore your fortunes, but have seen for you oracles that are false and misleading.”
— Lamentations 2: 14
So this happened recently on the Jim Bakker Show (with Dr. Michael Brown endorsed Jennifer "Sneaky Squid" LeClaire sitting in on the show); watch Jim Bakker soberly warn his audience about the impending End of The World... directly followed by an upbeat (and totally bizarre) cover of the Bee Gees song "Staying Alive." You really can't make this stuff up...
Jennifer "Sneaky Squid" LeClaire watches in utter confusion as the song begins; notice her refusal to join the clapping. Perhaps the Sneaky Squid Spirit is at work here?
This is a Bible that keeps oozing out lots of oil and it's said to be "The Presence of God." If you have a couple hours to waste, listen to these men say, "it's not about the oily Bible..." while they talk on and on about the oily Bible (as they continually fail to mention the Gospel of Jesus Christ who died for our sins):
“I used to preach about Christ and Him crucified, but now we’ve got the oily Bible.”
Please read: Do Miracles Signs and Wonders Create Faith?
This "signs and wonder" version of Christianity is part of The New Apostolic Reformation
What should you do if you're a prophetess and your two red glory cloths protected by angels still can't deliver the full impact of God's anointing? Prophetess Mattie Nottage may suggest delivering some firm foot stomps to the belly or back of people privileged enough to come within the domain of such red glory cloths.
Check out the "anointed" stomps of the "prophetess" below, along with other clearly not anointed nonsense on her so called red glory cloths.
You can watch the original version in its entirety below
Fortunately, God has not yet instructed Prophetess Mattie to wear high heels for this spiritual endeavor...
We can just let this bizarre video speak for itself:
“Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.”
Would you expect an anointed prophet of God to tell you not to pray, but rather to flaunt your riches in order to gain victory? "Prophet" Anointed Andrew also known as SEER1 is the prophet for you if your answer is yes.
A recent Facebook post encourages his followers not to pray, but instead to dress well if they want victory over their enemies.
Why get on your knees and seek strength from Christ in your time of weakness? Seek peace in prayer to guard your heart and mind? No way! Just put on your best watch, best shoes, and dangle the keys to your fancy car, that's all you need.
“6 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ”
Who are we to listen to? Our "anointed" SEER1? Scripture?
What should you do if you know a gay atheist who owned a bar and has a severe chip on his shoulder about Christianity? Most Christians within the bounds of orthodoxy would suggest praying for him, sharing scripture, and inviting him to church. But when you're a nutty seven mountains mandate guru entrenched in the NAR, you might suggest praying over a cake, potentially expecting God to use it as a means of grace.
Listen to Lance Wallnau, seven mountains mandate guru, and major NAR influencer share a testimony about an apparent gay atheist bar owner who was converted through an anointed cake.
You can view the nuttiness in its entirety here.
Listen to Chris Rosebrough talk about this theological train wreck on this episode of Fighting for the Faith: "Anointed Cake That Cures Homosexuality?"
It's possible "prophetess" Mattie Nottage may be zerberting demons, something potentially learned by watching The Cosby Show. (You can watch the scene here if you do not have a frame of reference for the zerbert.) Here are clips from a recent exorcism video she released.
It's hard to discern if she's actually making the zerbert noises or if those were edited in for dramatic effect. This "exorcism" is more about drawing attention to the false prophetess, than it is about setting someone free from demons.
Here is the disaster in unedited long-form.
Blasphemy has a name and that name is Bible 2.
Claiming to be the long-awaited sequel to the Bible this is so blasphemous it is hard to express our disdain without sinning. But we're still trying to figure out why Jesus is firing machines guns while riding my little pony.
We're pretty sure some of the Seeker-Sensual Vision-Casting Leaders are getting their doctrine from this comic book. Makes sense if you think about it. If you think you can just make up your own personal Jesus then pretty much anything goes.
Yes this is a real product that is really for sale.
This is one of the biggest "pastors" in America. This is not satire. This was part of a horrible sermon series. Listen to Chris Rosebrough discuss this on this episode of Fighting for the Faith.
In case you're thinking, "Well at least he's getting people to come to church..." you need to read this:
The Seeker-Friendly, Purpose-Driven Cornucopia of False Teaching
Please partner with us by clicking one of our friendly yellow buttons.
“Beloved, although I was very eager to write to you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write appealing to you to contend for the faith that was once for all delivered to the saints.” (Jude 1:3)
© 2023 Pirate Christian Media, LLC
“You shall not steal.” (Exodus 20:15)
Powered by Squarespace | Made by Maxims.org
