Lou Engle Doubles Down on Dumb Idea: "2020 is The Year of Stadium Christianity!"

Lou Engle is convinced that the Holy Spirit declared 2020 to be the “Year of Stadium Christianity” even as all public events are being canceled around the world.

In a recent article, where he called for a 3-day fast to end the coronavirus, Lou had a verital festival of irony, as he failed to see how unbiblical, contradictory, and presumptuous he was.

• Lou is not backing down on his assertion that the Holy Spirit has “marked 2020 as a year of stadium Christianity and explosive advance of the kingdom.”

• The gigantic Send event in Argentina scheduled for April 25 must be canceled because all public events have been banned.

• Lou Engle should probably say something like this: “Oops. I was totally wrong about the plans of God…”

• Instead of admitting he was totally wrong, he (you guessed it!) blames the whole global pandemic on Satan, because the Send was about to bring about “The Greatest Revival the World Has Ever Seen.” So now everyone needs to pray even harder than they already were. And don’t eat, either.

• If you don’t believe The Send was about to conjure up the greatest revival in world history, just watch some of their emotionally manipulative videos and marketing material and you’ll change your mind.

• Lou says: “It is our conviction that the storm of this pandemic has been stirred up by a high-level demonic principality…” Some might have guessed that this pandemic was stirred up by a low or mid-level demonic principality, but Lou has added clarity to this issue.

• Lou was pretty sure he should call for a fast and then “a great evangelist from Europe, Jean-Luc Trachsel, texted me and said, "Lou, don't miss this moment. Call a fast across the world and shatter this coronavirus!" I felt it was the word of the Lord.”

• So the coronavirus is shattered, according to Lou Engle and Jean-Luc Trachsel.

“Together, in the victory Christ has already won on the Cross, we will speak to this coronavirus, saying, “Be thou removed!” As we do, let’s believe together that this pandemic will abate, stadiums will be filled, elections shifted, and 2020 will go down in history – not as the year where the nations collapsed – but as the year of historic advance of evangelism and missions worldwide!”

— Lou Engle on March 18, 2020

“Thou shall prepare a stadium before Me, and I shall deliver unto you the great revival that you’ve been talking about for, lo, many decades.”

— Not In The Bible

“Every single day I see miraculous healings. It’s normal Christianity. I could have ended this world-wide pandemic, but I’ve been in my secret place.”

— Todd White (not)

The (soon to be collectable) Send Trading Cards.

This article is being written on March 26, 2020, and the 3-day fast did not stop the worldwide virus pandemic, but Lou Engle will continue to revered as a top leader of the New Apostolic Reformation.

“I wholeheartedly revere the voice of Lou Engle and his ministry.”

— Steve Shultz, Elijah List

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Steven Kozar is the Curator of the Museum of Idolatry and the guy behind The Messed Up Church website and YouTube channel.

We're Looking for the Harrisburg, PA, Pastor Born With Polio That Todd White Healed!

Todd White has recently appeared in a video where he tells the story of how he healed a pastor in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, of a leg that was three and a half inches too short. We want to hear from that man!

This man was the head pastor of a church in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, that taught against healing until Todd proved him wrong. Todd says that this man’s leg grew out immediately, and the pastor was forced to denounce his former disbelief in healing.

We want to meet this man and hear this amazing story directly from him!

This man must have been changed forever by this miraculous healing and we’re sure he would want to tell the whole world about what the Lord has done. We would love to see before and after photos and, of course, we’d really love to see the medical reports of this incredible miracle!

To help locate this man, here are the specifics of his story as told by Todd White:

• This man told Todd White that he was “born with polio” but you CANNOT be “born with polio!” This medical impossibility alone should make him very easy to find, and on top of that, the Centers for Disease Control states that polio has been ELIMINATED in the United States!

• Polio is spread through feces, so a mother cannot pass it down to her infant through conception. This pastor is probably listed as a bizarre anomaly by polio experts in the medical field-he’s probably easy to find in a database for polio research!

• His leg was (very specifically) three and a half inches too short. Apparently, Todd White had a measuring device with him and decided to do a short leg documentation (“SLD”). This will make it very easy to find this man! Even if Todd White has helped lots of people grow out their legs in Harrisburg, PA, (while he was working for an ice delivery company), this is probably the only one who had a three and a half inch discrepancy. Good thing that Todd did a SLD!

• The effects from polio do not always include having one leg too short, although the physical deformities resulting from polio could include such a condition. So not only was he born with polio (which is impossible), but he also had a shortened leg as a result. (Isn’t it funny how just about every illness that Todd White claims to heal involves a short leg? If only the medical field would catch on to this short leg epidemic!)

• This man was the head pastor of a church in Harrisburg, PA, that (very specifically) taught that God never heals anyone. Ever. His church was “part of a denomination that didn’t believe in healing” and he “preached against it his whole life.” This particular denomination holds to a very strange and rare theological distinction, which should make it very easy to find. Although Todd White claims that he meets lots of pastors who “preach against healing” he probably misspoke, since pretty much all Bible-believing churches believe that God can, if He chooses, heal people today. Todd is probably a little confused, since he believes the Word of Faith teaching that says God always heal today, (if we give Him the right commands and exercise enough faith). Unfortunately, Todd White has had no theological training but has just read some books by Word of Faith expert, Kenneth Copeland (his mentor), so he doesn’t understand that God is sovereign and cannot be controlled by us.

• This miraculous three and a half inch leg growth had to have taken place between 2004 (when Todd claims he was radically saved) and about 2007/10, because this was before he went into full-time ministry with Dan Mohler, which seems to be somewhere around 2007 or a little later. Todd says he was working a job delivering ice when he met the pastor and healed his short leg. So, just to put a time frame on this, the pastor had his three and a half inch leg miracle sometime between 2004 and about 2010 or so. This is just a 6 year window, making it pretty easy to nail down the specifics of this story!

• In Todd’s retelling of the story, this pastor saw Todd in his dreadlock hairstyle and seemed to dislike it. This is a very peculiar detail since Todd looked like this in 2007/2008, according to Dan Mohler’s old website, which is shown here from web archives:

Here’s the rest of this article on The Messed Up Church, and be sure to watch Pastor Chris Rosebrough’s video on this topic!

Todd White: How Much Money Does He Actually Make?

New Comedy from Charlie Shamp: "A New Prophetic Bird is Being Birthed in the Earth"

The following is a silly and incoherent word salad from Charlie Shamp that was (accidentally) published on the Elijah List website as real. Unfortunately, this work of wacky comedy sounded exactly like the other “prophetic words” that the Elijah List posts everyday, so Steve Shultz took it seriously and provided this endorsing preface: “I have come to know Charlie Shamp's prophetic words as being very accurate and timely. I always look forward to reading and hearing what Prophet Charlie Shamp has to share with the Body of Christ. This is a most intriguing word as Charlie shares about new prophetic birds being birthed in this season:”

Charlie Shamp: "A New Prophetic Bird is Being Birthed in the Earth"

These crazy “prophetic words” are so far away from Biblical Christianity that anyone with an ounce of common sense should see the humor and simply laugh! Clearly, Charlie Shamp is trying his hand at comedy, since his ability to predict the future has failed miserably, and that zany hairstyle is practically shouting: “Hey! This all just a joke, go ahead and laugh at me!!”

Here are some of the outrageous things that Charlie Shamp wrote in his nutty little article about prophetic birds being birthed:

“The Golden Eagle

The golden eagle represented the seer prophets. Those who are given supernatural insights and heavenly revelation through dreams and visions. They carry a wonder-working power of the supernatural. They often manifest unusual wonders and manifestations of the glory.

The Silver Winged Dove

The silver winged dove represented the nabi prophets. Those that spontaneously prophesy as the Spirit moves upon them. They are given a ministry of signs that manifest in the area of deliverance and healing.

The Snow White Owl

The snow white owl represented the prayer and holiness prophets. These are watchers and prophetic intercessors. They are those who the Lord had sent to pray and intercede over cities and nations. From out of this prophetic bird has sprung the prayer and purity revival movements.”

-Comedy from Charlie Shamp

Just to make sure everyone knows this is all in fun, Shamp ends his article with pure nonsense that says absolutely nothing. Check out this hilarious ending paragraph (and try to hold back the laughter!)…

“I believe we are in a season of acceleration in the prophetic. A new mantle is being offered to the Church. God is looking for leaders to unite from these three movements. As they come together in this season, a new, fresh wave of prophetic power will be released upon this young prophetic generation of sons and daughters. It will take the spirit of Elijah coming upon the fathers and mothers to unite the different prophetic movements, but they will release a Bridal company, and a new prophetic bird will be released in the earth, one the world has never seen before.”

-Comedy from Charlie Shamp

For more information on Charlie Shamp, check out these episodes of Fighting for the Faith.

Sarah Young's "Jesus Always" Wins Book Award -Thanks to God Himself!

HarperCollins is a gigantic book publishing company that owns both Thomas Nelson and Zondervan, the two largest Christian book publishers in the world. Sarah Young has heard directly from Jesus (again) and has written down His words and created another best-selling devotional book. Her previous book, "Jesus Calling" has sold over 25 million copies, but it was getting a bit old. Fortunately for Young, Jesus decided to speak once again and after just a short time on the market, this new book has reached "Platinum" level of sales! Since this book was written directly by God, it shouldn't surprise anyone that it won the ECPA Book of the Year. (ECPA stands for: Evangelical Confused Publishing Association)

HarperCollins Christian Publishing Wins Four 2018 Christian Book Awards including Jesus Always named Book of the Year

Of course, this isn't really fair to all of the other books that, let's face it, were NOT written by God Himself. Still, we have to give credit where credit is due: If God writes a book, it's gotta be a good one!

HarperCollins has not made it clear whether they plan on publishing old-fashioned Bibles anymore, as this new venture seems to be much more popular with the book-buying public.

Lest anyone think that these awards have no scholarly merit, remember that in 2015 the Book of the Year award went to Rick Warren's dieting book "The Daniel Plan: 40 Days to a Healthier Life." Here's a current photo of Rick Warren to show how effective that book was:

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Seriously, here's a bunch of information about this issue from Marcia Montenegro.

God Sends a Moth to Show the Gullibility of Charisma Magazine

Most people don't get too excited when a moth gets captured by a security camera. Charisma Magazine, however, is sure that the moth is actually an angel, and the roofline of the building behind it is actually a sword:

Security Cameras Capture Footage of an Angel With a Sword

Just in case you're not sure that the sword is just the roofline behind it, Charisma even publishes the next frame in the sequence that clearly shows the roofline of the building as the moth flies away.

Here's the 2nd photograph showing the moth fly away:

Now here's the "angel with a sword" photograph:

Charisma Magazine got this ridiculous and unsubstantiated story from the Facebook page of Jordan Rivers Church.

Charisma Magazine is endorsed by Dr. Michael Brown.

Dr. Michael Brown's Citizenship in Sid Roth-Iscam

Have you heard of the country called Sid Roth-Iscam? It's a very special place, where only a select few can become citizens. Sid Roth-Iscam is where weak and vulnerable travelers lose their money and dignity, as the royal citizenry enrich themselves through fraud and deceit.

Dr. Michael Brown has proven his citizenry in this land. Here is a short video that explains the qualifications necessary to become a citizen of this land:

Thanks to Is Not Satire!

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Remember, Dr. Michael Brown has publicly validated the "ministry" of his good friend, Sid Roth:

Hey Dr. Michael Brown, Your New Book is Already Useless!

Does This String of Incredible Coincidences Connect Dr. Michael Brown to the NAR?

Dr. Michael Brown Ruins His Credibility on His Own Facebook Wall, Then Deletes All the Evidence

Michael Brown Can't Defend "Sneaky Squid Spirit"-Repeatedly Changes the Subject

Dr. Michael Brown (Sort of) Approves of These "Fine Christians..." Watch at your Own Risk!

Paula White Blathers on for Almost Seven Minutes; Basically Wants More Money

Scholars of the Old and New Testament are currently debating the exact content of this important new video from Paula White-Cain, but the current consensus is that she wants people to send her a LOT of money. This would appear to comply with every other time she has had anything to say. Paula has a clever name for this "you should send me money" theology: First Fruits.

Although some may describe this as a sickening and deplorable money grab, it's important to remember that she promises to send donors of $50 or more some useless books about something or other. 

Here's the video:

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UPDATE!

Paula White Reps Scrub Her Page of Language Urging "First Fruits"

Here's what the Apostle Paul said about preachers getting rich:

2 Corinthians 2:17  “Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.”

1 Timothy 6:5, 9-10  “...and constant friction between people of corrupt mind, who have been robbed of the truth and who think that godliness is a means to financial gain. (9) But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction. (10) For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.”

1 Corinthians 5:11-13  "But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of a brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler-not even to eat with such a one. For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those on the outside. Remove the evil person from among you."

Titus 1:7-11  “For the overseer must be above reproach as God's steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict. For there are many rebellious men, empty talkers and deceivers, especially those of the circumcision, who must be silenced because they are upsetting whole families, teaching things they should not teach for the sake of sordid gain.”

Here's what Jesus said about getting rich:

Matthew 6:19-21 "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Matthew 6:24  “No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money.”

Luke 6:20-26  And he lifted up his eyes on his disciples, and said: “Blessed are you who are poor, for yours is the kingdom of God. Blessed are you who are hungry now, for you shall be satisfied. Blessed are you who weep now, for you shall laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you and when they exclude you and revile you and spurn your name as evil, on account of the Son of Man! Rejoice in that day, and leap for joy, for behold, your reward is great in heaven; for so their fathers did to the prophets. But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your consolation. Woe to you who are full now, for you shall be hungry. Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep. Woe to you, when all people speak well of you, for so their fathers did to the false prophets."

Here's what the Apostle Peter says about preachers getting rich:

2 Peter 2:1-3  “But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will also be false teachers among you, who will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing swift destruction upon themselves. Many will follow their sensuality, and because of them the way of the truth will be maligned; and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.”
 

Here's what the Apostle John says about getting rich:

1 John 2:15-17 "Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you. For all that is in the world-the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions-is not from the Father but is from the world. And this world is fading away, along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever."

Todd Bentley Commissions The "Apostolic Puppet Lady!!"

Todd Bentley has done it again! Just when you thought he was all washed up he finally shows himself to be a bonified and authentic Man of God! Sure, after his fraudulent claims of raising the dead, his drunken & adulterous behavior on the Charismatic Day of Infamy and his inability to maintain a consistent hair/tattoo/beard/clothing combination, many people thought he was just a pathetic, yet fairly dangerous false-teaching swindler. But now we have REAL proof of his supernatural & prophetic ability! He can commission and produce Apostolic Puppet People!! Look at the wonderful results at the East Texas Glory Revival (the Facebook post & video has been removed since we posted this article)...

Of course, this exciting new "move of God" first made an appearance in the movie "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang:"

But the movement had also gained momentum during the years of the Muppet Show: 

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Todd Bentley is part of the strange & gigantic movement loosely known as the New Apostolic Reformation. Read more about it here:  

The New Apostolic Reformation Cornucopia of False Doctrine, Dominionism, Charismania and Deception

Exorcism by Zerbert? Is "Prophetess" Mattie Nottage Zerberting Demons?

It's possible "prophetess" Mattie Nottage may be zerberting demons, something potentially learned by watching The Cosby Show. (You can watch the scene here if you do not have a frame of reference for the zerbert.) Here are clips from a recent exorcism video she released.

It's hard to discern if she's actually making the zerbert noises or if those were edited in for dramatic effect. This "exorcism" is more about drawing attention to the false prophetess, than it is about setting someone free from demons. 

Here is the disaster in unedited long-form.

Visual Proof That Modern Churches are (Much) Better

Wanna see a bunch of neanderthals living in the dark ages? Click through these photos and look at these silly old churches having old-fashioned worship services:

(Pretty embarrassing, isn't it??)

But now, take a look at these modern church services. THIS is what works! THIS is how you accurately and reverently worship the sovereign God of the universe!

(The following are all real snippets of modern Evangelical "worship services" from their own YouTube channels) 

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For a serious look at this issue:

The Seeker-Friendly, Purpose-Driven Cornucopia of False Doctrine

"Seeker-Sensual Church Growth" A Pirate Gang Conversation on Fighting for the Faith

A Manifesto of Christian Discernment

"Pastor" Ed Young, Jr. Skips Around the Stage as Adults Applaud

This is one of the biggest "pastors" in America. This is not satire. This was part of a horrible sermon series. Listen to Chris Rosebrough discuss this on this episode of Fighting for the Faith.

In case you're thinking, "Well at least he's getting people to come to church..." you need to read this:

The Seeker-Friendly, Purpose-Driven Cornucopia of False Teaching

A Manifesto of Christian Discernment

God "Knocked You Up" and You Might Not Know It!

In a recent post on Facebook Shawn Bolz seems to be suggesting that God has "knocked people up" and they don't know it yet.

Of course his post links to his worthless book "Keys to Heaven's Economy," so people can figure out how to get "the fruit of our womb."

The book promotion page says, "The Lord’s audible voice filled the room, introducing the angel standing before me: “Welcome the Minister of Finance for the Kingdom.”

Does the Bible mention anything about such an angel? Of course it does not.

The only thing getting "knocked up" here is your wallet.

By the way, Bolz displays real originality with his book title/cover:

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Shawn Bolz is already notorious for this: Holy Spirit Uses a Smart Phone to Help Shawn Bolz Do a Cold Reading

Shawn Bolz is part of the New Apostolic Reformation: The New Apostolic Reformation Cornucopia of False Doctrine, Dominionism, Charismania and Deception

Bill Johnson wrote the foreword to the worthless Bolz book: The Bill Johnson Cornucopia of False Teaching, Bible-Twisting and General Absurdity

"I Will Fight!" Jesus Died to Make You a Winner!!

Elevation Church is ready to PUMP YOU UP!! (Is this a church or a fitness club?)

Jesus wants you to be RIPPED!!

Jesus expects you to FIGHT!!

Super Pastor Steven Furtick has really big muscles, why don't YOU??

(But it's all about Jesus, right?)

The Steven Furtick Cornucopia of False Teaching, Egomania and Hair Gel

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Btw, Super Pastor Craig Groeschel would like to mention that he has really big muscles, too... 

(Pastor Groeschel is still trying to get past his reputation for having portrayed Harold Krenshaw on the TV show "Monk")

VIP Seating, Popcorn, Candy and Movies at Christ Fellowship Church

Christ Fellowship is handing out popcorn at the door, giving away VIP reserved seating, and conducting a special effects smoke & flame show with "Ironman" on stage during their official Sunday worship service. The VIP reserved seating has a mini refrigerator with drinks, hot popcorn, and candy. To potentially qualify for the VIP reserved seating you have to take a picture of yourself by a movie set at a church campus, post it to social media, and then tag the photo. Does this seem like pandering to get people to show up to you?

Is this really the type of atmosphere an official church worship service should have? This may be fine for an informal church outreach event, but this is supposed to be a gathering of the church to worship. But a big sign on stage saying "AT THE MOVIES" confesses that the focus here is on a movie. 

Below you will see the absolute distraction and mess they make of a church service...

“For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions, and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.”

— 2 Timothy 4: 3-4

"Man Cuddling"-The New Way to Bring Men to the Church?

We all know how hard it is to get men to come to church. Perhaps this new trend is the missing piece of the puzzle to convince them to show up! Read more on: Is Not Satire

Men are always so hesitant to talk about topics like love, spirituality, feelings, relationships, etc., that's why they don't get too excited about attending a church service. Maybe the opportunity to spend some quiet time cuddling-with another man-is just what they need!

(In case you're worried that this is an actual "man cuddling" event, you can calm down-it's not. This is just ridiculous satirical writing to go along with the ridiculousness of this whole "revival" and the two men who are actually cuddling for some unknown reason. Bottom line: this is NOT how the Holy Spirit operates.)

Lou Engle Rocks Back and Forth a Lot

There, that says everything you needed to know...

Chuck Pierce Speaking Directly for God-Add This To Your Bible

Here's an exact transcription of the "prophecy" from Glory of Zion (from the March 2, 2016 episode of Fighting for the Faith):

(Starts with nonsensical speaking, which will then be interpreted)...

Prophet Keith (interpreting the nonsensical speaking): "And the Lord would say to you today, awaken oh dry bones, oh bones that have laid and have laid in the dust today is the day that new breath and yes, my breath is coming over you, so awaken dry bones, awaken. Arise, arise and dance, because your purpose is before you, so when you awaken go forward, go forward, go forward, because a triumph... a triumphant cry is awaiting when you awaken."

Prophet Chuck (stepping in to show how it's done): "I saw a picture it was like what Keith just prophesied, all of a sudden I saw God start re-pulling you together and bringing you up to a top of a plateau, and then He said now you're gonna go down a long slide, and when you get back down to that hard place you were in, it's gonna manifest as a garden like you've never b-seen before. I saw watch this week as you hit your slide and where you thought you'd been scattered in past seasons, you'll find you'll be pickin' fruit in this season. And I will say to you this will be a month the trees begin to shake, and when the wind blows if you'll step out into the wind, you'll hear where you need to go, for I'm gonna be sending my people out this way and that way, and in the midst of the wind blowing new strategies to increase I will be blowing in. And every way you increased in the past, I say make a list of it and then, hear me blow you in to a multiplication to increase in the future. And I say what I've done in you if you will review then I will give you a vision of how I'm going to use you with others in days ahead. I say you are at the brink of multiply, do not back up, lists and review and then see where I would have you go. For this has been a season of repositioning and in my repositioning I have even left some where they are that they so they can increase in new ways, I say see your position now for now you will move out to the right and the left and increase will come. I healed you so that others could be healed, I broke through you so that you could breakthrough others, I say I caused you to be delivered, so many could be delivered, I say to you, this is your beginning of moving out. And I say use that which had you bound as a whip on the enemy. I say if you'll look back and see how the enemy had you bound you will break and cause the increase of many to come, I say I want healing in my body, but I want my body to prosper again. And I say to you a portal is forming over you, one that you have never seen before, I say run under and watch me pour down upon you for you are just beginning to receive and I say to you don't interpret your future from your past but allow your past to come under the portal of your future and I will pour over you that identity that you need to step into." 

New Prophet: "For the Lord says that I am redefining your sense so you will see how to move and operate in the portal that is coming down, and he says I am redefining your sense in the watch he says do not shut your eyes in the hour of watch he says be ready for me as I begin to move in the watch."

Back to Prophet Chuck: "The Lord says to you this is the beginning that I am going to reveal my glory and how my glory will move out I'm gonna show you how to advance, I'm gonna show you how to move, for Oklahoma I have chosen to unlock, and in unlocking Oklahoma I will unlock this entire nation, for my first people are dwelling in that place and DNA for the nation exists there, so from the east I will begin to manifest my spirit in a new way sayeth the Lord."  

Please add this to the Bible. Chuck Pierce assures us that he speaks directly on behalf of God. Do NOT question the Messenger.