Bill Johnson, Todd White and Company Don't Expect to Heal Deaf Ears at Awakening Australia

Bill Johnson, Todd White and many others like them have said over and over again that a life full of miracles is “normal Christianity.” For an upcoming (yet another) conference called Awakening Australia there is no shortage of Super Apostles who claim to heal people on a daily basis:

Yet the Facebook page for this conference has asked for volunteers to come and do signing for those in attendance who cannot hear. Why is this needed? Shouldn’t Todd White use this as an opportunity to demonstrate his great healing ability?

Miracle is his normal life:

Bill Johnson says that miracles are normal, too:

Perhaps they only need hand signers for the first few minutes of the conference, so that they can announce that all of the hearing loss is about to be healed? And then after all hearing loss is healed, maybe the signers will get autographs from Todd White and Bill Johnson, and maybe even a nice tote bag for their efforts? We can hope.

By the way, Ben Fitzgerald is the director of Awakening Australia, and his Mom’s group “Christalignment” is listed as a supporting ministry:

New Comedy from Charlie Shamp: "A New Prophetic Bird is Being Birthed in the Earth"

The following is a silly and incoherent word salad from Charlie Shamp that was (accidentally) published on the Elijah List website as real. Unfortunately, this work of wacky comedy sounded exactly like the other “prophetic words” that the Elijah List posts everyday, so Steve Shultz took it seriously and provided this endorsing preface: “I have come to know Charlie Shamp's prophetic words as being very accurate and timely. I always look forward to reading and hearing what Prophet Charlie Shamp has to share with the Body of Christ. This is a most intriguing word as Charlie shares about new prophetic birds being birthed in this season:”

Charlie Shamp: "A New Prophetic Bird is Being Birthed in the Earth"

These crazy “prophetic words” are so far away from Biblical Christianity that anyone with an ounce of common sense should see the humor and simply laugh! Clearly, Charlie Shamp is trying his hand at comedy, since his ability to predict the future has failed miserably, and that zany hairstyle is practically shouting: “Hey! This all just a joke, go ahead and laugh at me!!”

Here are some of the outrageous things that Charlie Shamp wrote in his nutty little article about prophetic birds being birthed:

“The Golden Eagle

The golden eagle represented the seer prophets. Those who are given supernatural insights and heavenly revelation through dreams and visions. They carry a wonder-working power of the supernatural. They often manifest unusual wonders and manifestations of the glory.

The Silver Winged Dove

The silver winged dove represented the nabi prophets. Those that spontaneously prophesy as the Spirit moves upon them. They are given a ministry of signs that manifest in the area of deliverance and healing.

The Snow White Owl

The snow white owl represented the prayer and holiness prophets. These are watchers and prophetic intercessors. They are those who the Lord had sent to pray and intercede over cities and nations. From out of this prophetic bird has sprung the prayer and purity revival movements.”

-Comedy from Charlie Shamp

Just to make sure everyone knows this is all in fun, Shamp ends his article with pure nonsense that says absolutely nothing. Check out this hilarious ending paragraph (and try to hold back the laughter!)…

“I believe we are in a season of acceleration in the prophetic. A new mantle is being offered to the Church. God is looking for leaders to unite from these three movements. As they come together in this season, a new, fresh wave of prophetic power will be released upon this young prophetic generation of sons and daughters. It will take the spirit of Elijah coming upon the fathers and mothers to unite the different prophetic movements, but they will release a Bridal company, and a new prophetic bird will be released in the earth, one the world has never seen before.”

-Comedy from Charlie Shamp

For more information on Charlie Shamp, check out these episodes of Fighting for the Faith.

Bad to the Bone Church

Church by the Glades has got a series of “sermons” based on… Halloween. Or vampires… or Haunted Houses… or something like that.

Here’s the song that kicks off their series Escaping a Haunted Mansion:

“Beloved, do not imitate evil but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God; whoever does evil has not seen God.”

— 3 John 11

The Seeker-Friendly, Purpose-Driven Cornucopia of False Doctrine

Jennifer LeClaire: "Python Spirit Collapsed My Building!"

Here's a story about the Apostle Jennifer "Sneaky Squid Spirit" LeClaire from the Heterodox Research Initiative: Python Spirit Collapsed My Building Says Apostle Jennifer LeClaire

Remember, Dr. Michael Brown approves, promotes and recommends Jennifer LeClaire, so you just know she's gotta be a true Prophet and Apostle!

Arrest Warrant issued for NAR Apostle David Tomberlin

Here's an important article from our friends at ChurchWatch Central:

Arrest Warrant issued for NAR Apostle David Tomberlin – exposed for having multiple wives, kidnapping & prostitution?

"Engagement Conference" Featuring Distorted & Chaotic Apostles and Prophets!

Good news everyone: there are Apostles and Prophet living on the earth again! How can we be sure? Because they've got a website called "Prophets and Apostles.org" so you know it's legit.

This promotional video for (yet another) conference is as distorted, chaotic and confused as the conference will likely be:

You will have to pay to hear these new Apostles and Prophets, but if you spring for the VIP package, you'll get a hat, a t-shirt, and a chance to win an iPad: 

“My dear son Timothy, I want you to come and see me soon, but you must buy the VIP package so that you might win the prize that’s been put in front of you... it’s an iPad!”

— Said the (Real) Apostle Paul Never

Hillsong's Joel Houston Says "Evolution is Undeniable"

Hillsong songwriter, Lead Pastor and member of the Houston royal dynasty, Joel Houston has decreed and declared that "evolution is undeniable." Houston then began backtracking and claiming that he was misunderstood by judgmental people who aren't being nice to him.

Here's an excellent from our friends at Answers in Genesis: 

Hillsong United, Lyrics, and Evolution-Houston, We Have a Problem

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Disgusting Hillsong Santa Has a "Package" For You

Hillsong Website Links to Lusty Esther Houston Website

For more information about Hillsong check out: The Brian Houston & Hillsong Cornucopia of False Doctrine, Abuse, Obfuscation & Money Generation

For those who think it's mean, judgmental and un-loving to criticize Hillsong (or any other popular teacher/church) here's something just for you: Shocking Stuff You're Not Supposed to Know.

If you're having a knee-jerk reaction to try and defend Hillsong, check out: Confirmation Bias: Why You Are Protecting Your False Beliefs.

Finally, here's an article that will help you be more discerning and a lot less gullible: Defusing Demonic Dirty Bombs.

Sarah Young's "Jesus Always" Wins Book Award -Thanks to God Himself!

HarperCollins is a gigantic book publishing company that owns both Thomas Nelson and Zondervan, the two largest Christian book publishers in the world. Sarah Young has heard directly from Jesus (again) and has written down His words and created another best-selling devotional book. Her previous book, "Jesus Calling" has sold over 25 million copies, but it was getting a bit old. Fortunately for Young, Jesus decided to speak once again and after just a short time on the market, this new book has reached "Platinum" level of sales! Since this book was written directly by God, it shouldn't surprise anyone that it won the ECPA Book of the Year. (ECPA stands for: Evangelical Confused Publishing Association)

HarperCollins Christian Publishing Wins Four 2018 Christian Book Awards including Jesus Always named Book of the Year

Of course, this isn't really fair to all of the other books that, let's face it, were NOT written by God Himself. Still, we have to give credit where credit is due: If God writes a book, it's gotta be a good one!

HarperCollins has not made it clear whether they plan on publishing old-fashioned Bibles anymore, as this new venture seems to be much more popular with the book-buying public.

Lest anyone think that these awards have no scholarly merit, remember that in 2015 the Book of the Year award went to Rick Warren's dieting book "The Daniel Plan: 40 Days to a Healthier Life." Here's a current photo of Rick Warren to show how effective that book was:

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Seriously, here's a bunch of information about this issue from Marcia Montenegro.

WOW Life Church Disco Divine Prophetic Word for 2018

There's a giant new ego in town, and all of the other Seeker-Friendly, Mystical Megachurch pastors are gonna start shaking in their boots when they see this guy...

This is all real; sadly, this is not satire:

WOW Life Church is based in Sri Lanka, but it already has branches in the USA. Here's what they say about their church:

"Forerunners…Prophetic Reformers.. bringing progressive revelations that will not leave Christendom looking the same.

Ministry of Transformation…A place that builds strong foundations and serves solid spiritual food (meats) that will deeply transform the believer inside out.

We are predominantly based in Sri Lanka and also have a growing number of WOW’ers in nations all across the world.

WOW belongs to the Apostolic Diocese of Ceylon (ADC) which is one of the largest charismatic denominations in the country covering over 500 churches."

(Kirby & Fiona are the Superstars of this bizarre new church; if you don't think so, just ask them.)

Steven Furtick to Join Bill Johnson & Kris Vallotton for Bethel Conference

Steven Furtick, who is somehow still considered part of the Southern Baptist Convention, will be a speaker at (yet another) conference from the heretical, Montanist, NAR mega-church: Bethel Church, Redding. This conference promises to "bring heaven" (if you buy an expensive ticket) just like all of their other conferences: 

Tickets cost between $129 to $189... but for an additional $60 surcharge you can sit closer to the NARpostles and have a Q&A session with the very cool (and very famous) Bethel musicians!

This should not seem too shocking since Furtick has already declared his great love and devotion to the Modalist heretic T. D. Jakes. Over the years, Steven Furtick has even adopted the dramatic and emotionally manipulative speaking style of T. D. Jakes. But now we see the attempt to merge two massive audiences: the NAR/Signs and Wonders/Hyper-Charismatic audience of Bill Johnson and his Bethel co-pastor, Kris Vallotton, with the more Word of Faith/Positive Thinking/Seeker-Friendly audience of Steven Furtick.

These men are all highly paid public speakers, and they wish to find as many new customers as possible. We can expect them to have brand new books to sell in time for this conference as well.

Here are some of the other false teachers that Steven Furtick has gladly shared the stage with:

Steven Furtick "Ministries" is hardly a ministry:  

• It is NOT listed in the IRS database.
• It is NOT registered as a non-profit in North Carolina or South Carolina.
• It does NOT file a Form 990 with the IRS.

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For more information:

The Steven Furtick Cornucopia of False Teaching, Egomania and Hair Gel

10 Reasons Why You Should RUN AWAY From Bethel Redding

Here's a very informative new video about Steven Furtick from Pastor Chris Rosebrough:

Are you sick and tired of seeing these false-teaching egomaniacs getting rich in the name of God??

Read the Manifesto of Christian Discernment:

Todd White: Fabricating a Miracle?

Here is a quick video of Todd White telling two completely different versions of the same story. In the first segment he talks about the time he had to have knee surgery because he was NOT miraculously healed. In the second segment (from a video on his Facebook page last week) he tells the story with a 100% different ending! He claims his knee was miraculously healed on the day he was supposed to have it surgically repaired. 

Attention Todd White: Why don't you release the name of the "Jewish doctor" who observed your miraculous healing so he can verify this story? 

Todd White is a highly paid public speaker, and miraculous stories make more money. In 2015 Todd White made over $600,000! In order to grow his audience, Todd White needs to continually pump himself up as a great man of God; he's a master at the "humble brag."

Just in case you think that Todd White is talking about two separate "torn knee" events:

Jim Bakker: The Coming Judgment

Jim Bakker believes he has some really important things to say in this 3 minute video:

Here are some of the incredibly vague things he said:

• "We're about to experience something we've never had before."
• "Things are going to happen."

Bakker claims to read the David Wilkerson book "Racing Towards Judgment" on a weekly basis and believes it is helping to predict what will happen next. Bakker claims that some of the book's predictions have already occurred, even though it was written "several years ago." No Jim, that book was written in 1976 (42 years ago).

Here is the one specific thing he said in this video:

• "I believe with all my heart we're gonna see and hear and feel judgment of God. I believe judgment of God is coming, and it's coming right away. I believe we are going to see the big, final fulfillment in the next few months it's gonna begin probably within weeks ... we're gonna see something so dramatic happen."

(This video was published by Jim Bakker on April 6, 2018... almost 7 weeks ago.)

If Jim Bakker really wanted to preach the Gospel message, he would remind his audience that we all deserve the judgment of God, but thankfully, Jesus Christ took our sins upon Himself so that the judgment of God would never threaten us.

“Since we have now been justified by His blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through Him!”

— Romans 5: 9

“For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ.”

— 1 Thessalonians 5: 9

Jim Bakker wants to sell food buckets, which means he has to put people in a state of continuous fear...

Jim Bakker End of the World Food Bucket Bee Gees Video

Finding God at Beyonce "Mass?"

Just when you thought that seeker-friendly evangelicals were at the height of embarrassing cultural accommodation, this Episcopal church in San Francisco goes so far over the top that suddenly Joel Osteen, Steven Furtick, and Benny Hinn appear orthodox and Biblical: 

The Seeker-Friendly, Purpose-Driven Cornucopia of False Doctrine

God Sends a Moth to Show the Gullibility of Charisma Magazine

Most people don't get too excited when a moth gets captured by a security camera. Charisma Magazine, however, is sure that the moth is actually an angel, and the roofline of the building behind it is actually a sword:

Security Cameras Capture Footage of an Angel With a Sword

Just in case you're not sure that the sword is just the roofline behind it, Charisma even publishes the next frame in the sequence that clearly shows the roofline of the building as the moth flies away.

Here's the 2nd photograph showing the moth fly away:

Now here's the "angel with a sword" photograph:

Charisma Magazine got this ridiculous and unsubstantiated story from the Facebook page of Jordan Rivers Church.

Charisma Magazine is endorsed by Dr. Michael Brown.

Charisma Conference: Mark Driscoll Joins Katie Souza, Real Talk Kim, and Jonathan Cahn

When you ditch the mega-church you founded just in time to avoid the consequences of your horrid personal behavior, it can be difficult to find new speaking gigs. Heck, it can be hard to simply walk down the street without getting hit with a rotten tomato. But Mark Driscoll has found a new place to call home: the Charisma Conference! He's already published a new book with Charisma Publishing so now it's time for Driscoll to get on stage and sell stuff to a whole new audience, an audience who have already proven themselves gullible enough to buy The Sneaky Squid Spirit, The Four Blood Moons Thingy, The Harbinger/Shemitah/Paradigm Thingy, and about ten thousand other useless doctrines that are contrary to Scripture. 

Charisma Conference 2018

The promotional website for this conference is 100% certain that the Holy Spirit wants you to buy a ticket...

For more information:

Driscoll Re-Emerges as a Charismatic

Demonic Yeast Infections

Rosebrough's 2¢ on The Harbinger

Watch Katie Souza and Real Talk Kim in the 2nd half of this video:

Ryan LeStrange's New Doctrine Competes with the Sneaky Squid Spirit-Who Will Be the Victor?!

Here's an article from Charisma Magazine by Ryan Lestrange:

10 Signs of a Preacher is Influenced by Leviathan

LeStrange has clearly been influenced by the New Doctrine of the Sneaky Squid Spirit and appears to be feeling left out. In the world of Charismania, anyone can make up anything, and then everyone is supposed to nod their heads in agreement. Even Dr. Michael Brown can't bring himself to admit that the Sneaky Squid Spirit is ridiculous; most likely he would go along with whatever wacky new doctrine that Ryan LeStrange invents, too. 

Ryan LeStrange and Jennifer LeClaire seem to be battling it out for the title of:

"Most Willing to Make Up New Doctrine and Sell Stuff to the Desperate & Gullible."

This article by LeStrange is an example of the pot calling the kettle black. This is what false teachers do all the time: they speak against the very thing they are guilty of. 

Here is point number one from LeStrange's article: 

"They boast more of their accomplishments than the man Jesus. The preaching of the gospel can include many facets, but the main aim is to declare Jesus. Anytime ministry becomes more about a person or personality, it has gotten off course. Leviathan will make it about a man rather than clearly lifting up the name of Jesus." -Ryan LeStrange.

This is an amazing comment from a man who prattles on like a hyper-active teenager about useless topics that have almost no Gospel message or mention of Jesus Christ the resurrected Savior who died for our sins.

Want to hear someone boasting "more of their accomplishments than the man Jesus?" Here is Ryan's bio at the bottom of this article (punctuation errors included):

"Ryan LeStrange is an apostolic and prophetic revolutionary, laboring to see global awakening He is the founder and apostolic leader of a global network of ministries known as TRIBE Apostolic Network. He is the senior leader of the iHub movement, planting and overseeing a network of governing churches, apostolic hubs, and revival hubs Ryan is also a real estate investor who is active in the business arena. Ryan is an accomplished author. His latest release is titled Hell's Toxic Trio. Ryan and his wife, Joy, have one son, Joshua, and currently reside in Virginia."

Insane Jamaican "Pastor" Shoots Up Church with Toy Gun

Nothing really needs to be said about this...

Except maybe: "Pow pow pow..."

The God You Should Doubt, According to Bill Johnson and Randy Clark

If you’re looking for guides to teach you how to walk by sight, and to doubt if God loves you in Christ, you really need to listen to Bill Johnson and Randy Clark. On the other hand if you prefer to live by faith and not by sight, and don’t want to doubt God’s love for you in Christ, then you probably shouldn’t consult Bill Johnson and Randy Clark...

Bill Johnson and Randy Clark were asked why miracles and healing are so important today. Bill Johnson gave an answer that really doesn’t encourage anyone to stretch their faith, or live by faith at all. He talked about how God has the power and resources to heal.

“If you have resources and you don’t take care of a need, then your love is questioned.” -Bill Johnson

Bill Johnson is giving us room to question God’s love if he doesn’t heal us. Forget about stretching our faith and calling us to walk by faith and not by sight. (2 Corinthians 5:7)  Forget about saying that hope that is seen is no hope at all. (Romans 8:24) According to these men, what Jesus did on the cross doesn’t really prove that God does love us in Christ.

Randy Clark also gave a resounding call to live by sight and not by faith. He said that without miracles and healing, the gospel for some is just a moral code or philosophy. Clark gave emphasis to miracles and healing as THE way God shows his glory. That really is a top rate tactic on his part to get us to live by sight. If he wanted to get us to live by faith, he might suggest that the gospel is the very power of God unto salvation. (Romans 1:16)

So if you want the top advocates for living by sight, and doubting if God loves you, listen to Bill Johnson and Randy Clark. It’s rather interesting that these two men known for their "amazing faith," are actually better at promoting the exact opposite.

Original video here.

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Thanks to Is Not Satire!

Kenneth Copeland and Oral Roberts Brag About Being RICH

Here's one of the founders of the Word of Faith/Prosperity Gospel, Oral Roberts, bragging and laughing about the great riches that he and Kenneth Copeland enjoy; then watch the aging and unrepentant Copeland fail to heal anyone at a healing service:

For more information: 

A Biblical Guide to the Prosperity Gospel

The Word of Faith Cornucopia of False Doctrine

Lance Wallnau: "Violate Scripture With Me!"

Here's the great "Commander of the Millibars," Lance Wallnau:

This may come as a shock, but Lance Wallnau appears to have a phony degree from a diploma mill! 

Thanks to Is Not Satire for the story and videos!