Don't Be Confused by the Crab and the Bears... (or Charisma Magazine's "Astrology")

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The following is an unedited article written by Ron Allen of the International Star Bible Society. It's from the Dr. Michael Brown Approved "Christian" website: Charisma Magazine:

 

 

"On July 21 the Sun enters the constellation Cancer (The Holding Place).

Cancer is the eleventh chapter of the Star Bible, and it is a picture of our eternal home with God, commonly called heaven. The modern name of Cancer, a Greek word meaning "crab", clouds the original meaning. It is a mistranslation of the Arabic name "khan", meaning "inn", and "cer," meaning "encircling", picturing a fortified home for travelers. Two other stars add to this understanding, Acubene (the sheltering place) and Tegmine (holding). There is also a faint star cluster known as Praesope (the multitude) reminding us of the multitudes of believers who will be gathered in heaven.

Two other constellations associated with Cancer also suffer from linguistic confusion, Ursa Minor and Ursa Major, the little and big "Bears," also popularly known as the Little and Big Dippers. The Hebrew word for bear, "dohv", was substituted by the Greeks for the actual name "dohven", meaning "sheepfold." Thus, the "bears" are actually the greater and lesser "sheepfolds." Ursa Major is also called "the assembled together" in Hebrew, and the word "assembled" is a linguistic cognate with the Greek word from which we got our word "church".

Ursa Minor (the lesser sheepfold) represents the holding place for the sheep, or believers, who lived before Jesus came. This understanding comes from the star named Kochab which means "waiting on Him who comes," as those Hebrew and other believers had to look forward for the Messiah.

Ursa Major (the greater sheepfold), represents those believers who came after Jesus, the church. The star named Dubheh Lachar, "the latter herd", points to this meaning. And, in addition, the name of the star at the end of the handle of the Dipper, alkaid, also means "assembly", the very name of the church in Greek.

Cancer was the sign of the summer season from the time of the Exodus to the advent of Christ, covering the age of Israel. It was replaced, as the precession of the equinoxes moved sign of the summer season, by Gemini (the united) which covers the time between the advent and the Second Coming of Christ, and was a sign in the sun, moon and stars of the Advent of Christ. Ursa Minor (the lesser sheepfold) in Cancer continues as sign in the sun, moon and stars of the Second Coming of Christ, as the precession of the equinoxes will move Polaris (the turned upon) directly over the North Pole in 2102 AD, signaling Christ's dominance over the high point of heaven.

Cancer is, of course, obscured from view now because it is hidden behind the Sun's glare. However, the Greater and Lesser Sheepfolds dominate the northern sky and are always visible. The Lesser Sheepfold, Ursa Minor, is easy to find because it contains the Pole Star Polaris. The Greater Sheepfold, a.k.a. the Big Dipper, will be in the Northwestern sky during the evening hours.

Don't be confused by the Crab and the Bears. Your home in Heaven is pictured in the stars." 

(Ron Allen's book)

(Ron Allen's book)

Patricia King Can Ascend to Heaven

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Patricia King claims she has the ability to ascend into the heavens, and she has apparently received study notes that she describes as almost complete dictation from the Holy Spirit on how you also can "ascend into the heavens." Perhaps she could take some videos of heaven on her next visit?

Instead of teaching people at her "glory school" she could could simply show us heaven itself! Of wait, she can't charge a fee if she doesn't have a "glory school."

According to Patricia King, the Bible isn't clear enough on our ability to ascend to heaven, so she needed some Holy Spirit dictated notes to make up for where the Bible is lacking. 

We know the Bible isn't lacking of course. We really don't need whatever Patricia King's vast imagination can conjure up. In fact when you see her lips start moving, it's probably a good idea to run away as fast and far as you can!

“My dear brothers; eventually some new teachers will bring new teachings into the Church. Among their beneficial ideas will be the practice of “ascending to heaven” on an ongoing basis. And these new teachers will sell their services in what will be called “Glory Schools.” You must follow these teachers and ignore the previous teachings of the Bible.”
— Said No Apostle Ever

Have you had enough of these false prophets? Read this and find some relief:

The Hyper-Charismatic House of Cards-Let It Fall and Be Free

Get a "Prophetic (Phone) Consultation" from Dennis Cramer for ONLY $1,000!!

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Seriously, this is off-the-charts DISGUSTING!!! This "prophet" is SO great and SO busy that he can only prophecy over the phone, but only if you become a Lifetime Partner for a $1,000 "donation." (But you can still go and see him at a meeting for free. Phew!)

Prophetic Consultations

Are you sceptical? You shouldn't be because Cramer says:

"All Personal Prophetic Consultations contain a high level of REVELATION, PREDICTION, DIRECTION, IMPARTATION, CORRECTION (re-alignment, adjustment, improvement, advancement), AUTHORITY, and EQUIPPING ...for your work of service to the Lord. (Eph.4:12)."

You'd save a lot of money by dropping a quarter into this:

Seriously folks, if you're going to Christian fortune-tellers, it's time to repent and ask Christ to forgive you of all your sins. Please just read your Bible-it's God's Word!!

“Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.”

— 2 Corinthians 2:17

“and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep.”

— 2 Peter 2:3

“Now listen, you rich people, weep and wail because of the misery that is coming on you. Your wealth has rotted, and moths have eaten your clothes. Your gold and silver are corroded. Their corrosion will testify against you and eat your flesh like fire. You have hoarded wealth in the last days. Look! The wages you failed to pay the workers who mowed your fields are crying out against you. The cries of the harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord Almighty. You have lived on earth in luxury and self-indulgence. You have fattened yourselves in the day of slaughter.”

— James 5: 1-5

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

— Matthew 6: 19-21

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”

— 1 John 4: 1

“An appalling and horrible thing has happened in the land: the prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule at their direction; my people love to have it so, but what will you do when the end comes?”

— Jeremiah 5: 30-31

“And her prophets have smeared whitewash for them, seeing false visions and divining lies for them, saying, ‘Thus says the Lord God,’ when the Lord has not spoken.”

— Ezekiel 22: 28

“Your prophets have seen for you false and deceptive visions; they have not exposed your iniquity
to restore your fortunes, but have seen for you oracles that are false and misleading.”

— Lamentations 2: 14

“For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.”

— Matthew 24: 24

LeClaire's Apostolic Daddy Kicked Her Praise God! – Jennifer LeClaire

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Jennifer LeClaire’s apostolic daddy James Goll literally kicked Jennifer LeClaire while at the Upgrade Conference. In response she exclaimed, “Praise God!”

Below you’ll see a Facebook post from Goll describing himself as a father in the faith to Jennifer LeClaire and Ryan LeStrange, and a video from LeClaire describing the prophetic kick in the pants she received from her apostolic daddy.

LeClaire’s brief video is wilted word salad that really doesn’t mean anything at all. It has lots of fun buzzwords, that when strung together appear to mean something, but really it means nothing.

Launch into "mega transition?"  "Mega upgrade??"

Being kicked is normal? And it's actually desirable??

It’s just weird. Really weird.

Are these people even preaching the gospel, or are they on some sort of mystical jungle gym trying to climb from bar to bar?

So much of what they say and do distracts from the gospel.

People like LeClaire really should take advice like Dr. Michael Brown gave in a recent video about the doctrines of demons.

He lists anything that takes you away from the exaltation of Jesus, the centrality of the word of God, and being seduced from the simplicity of Christ, as being part of the doctrine of demons.

Using vague buzzwords like mega transition, and mega upgrades, or focusing on being literally kicked by your apostolic daddy seems like it takes away from the exaltation of Christ, centrality of the word of God, and the simplicity of Christ.

People like Jennifer LeClaire need to repent of this worthless nonsense, and people like Dr. Michael Brown who befriend, associate, and minister with them, need to help in the process of calling them out to repentance.

Prophetic Dinosaurs - Lana Vawser

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Lana Vawser claims God gave her a word for the body of Christ by speaking through a dinosaur in a video game. If you want to hear a lot of meaningless drivel, check out this rambling, useless and incoherent "Christian" fortune-telling  video: 

Vawser without hesitation reminds us that God has spoken to her before through popcorn, umbrellas, and Wonder Woman.

This time she felt God put it on her heart to give a message to the body of Christ by speaking through a dinosaur she saw in a video game her son was playing. After the initial dinosaur sighting Vawser tells us she started seeing dinosaurs all over the place.

Sometimes it's hard to understand what God is saying through popcorn, umbrellas, Wonder Woman, and dinosaurs, so she gave us some helpful references to understand one's vain imaginations. Here are some of the dingbats, nutjobs and "Christian Sorcerers" she recommends:

 

A-Z Dream Symbology by Dr. Barbie L Breathitt. 

The Divinity Code to Understanding Your Dreams and Visions by Adam Thompson and Adrian Beale

Understand Your Dreams Now: Spiritual Dream Interpretation by Doug Addison

Seems like a lot of work just to hear what a video game dinosaur is saying. Many people have been known to hear God by opening their Bible, and maybe just using a solid Bible commentary. Sadly, that's not as exciting and adventurous as hearing God speak through popcorn, umbrellas, Wonder Woman, and dinosaurs. 

Lana Vawser might as well be this guy:

 

“Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, for many false prophets have gone out into the world.”

— 1 John 4: 1

“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace, as in all the churches of the saints.”

— 1 Corinthians 14: 33

“An appalling and horrible thing has happened in the land: the prophets prophesy falsely, and the priests rule at their direction; my people love to have it so, but what will you do when the end comes?”

— Jeremiah 5: 30-31

“And her prophets have smeared whitewash for them, seeing false visions and divining lies for them, saying, ‘Thus says the Lord God,’ when the Lord has not spoken.”

— Ezekiel 22: 28

“Your prophets have seen for you false and deceptive visions; they have not exposed your iniquity
to restore your fortunes, but have seen for you oracles that are false and misleading.”

— Lamentations 2: 14

“For false christs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders, so as to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.”

— Matthew 24: 24

Ken Copeland: Whatever Your Faith Can Believe You Can Have it in 2016

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Ken Copeland, in his New Year's Eve service for 2016 claimed that God told him that whatever your faith can believe for, you can have it in 2016.

No Joke!

This is a fulfillment of the Apostle Paul's prophecy in 2 Timothy: 

“For the time is coming when people will not endure sound teaching, but having itching ears they will accumulate for themselves teachers to suit their own passions and will turn away from listening to the truth and wander off into myths.”
— 2 Timothy 4: 3-4