Are you stuck in singleness or the friend zone?  Can’t find marital bliss? Do you sense that maybe a witch or marine agent is the nemesis keeping you there? Looking for a remedy? Let me be more specific.

Are you looking for a prophet who can launch Holy Ghost missiles, and Holy Ghost bulldozers at the witches and marine agents keeping you in the shackles of perpetual singleness? 

I have the perfect prophet for you. Meet prophet Nicholas. He operates the Prophetic & Deliverance page on Facebook.

Prophet Nicholas can launch Holy Ghost missiles, Holy Ghost bulldozers, Holy Ghost earthquakes, and much more. He can launch them right at the witches and marine agents holding you back from complete marital bliss. Here is his Facebook post from June 18, 2016.

You no longer have to blame singleness on your bad personality, or even your bad breath. Singleness is caused by witches and marine agents. Luckily they can be obliterated by the Holy Ghost missile launching Facebook prophet named Nicholas.

In all seriousness, please don't follow prophets claiming the ability to manhandle the sovereign third person of the Trinity.